it’s just another friday night. except, this is no ordinary friday night.
she came to visit you and you’re in your car to pick her up from the local bus station, driving on the highway at something shy of 150 kilometers per hour. you missed her so much.
she’s there, beautiful as always, cute curly hair, cute round glasses. just like she was last summer when you first met.
you pick up her stuff and help her get into the car, then, off to home you go. it will be the best night ever.
she’s brought a present for you. it’s a cute shirt, with a cat on it. she always thinks of you.
even if you do think of her, you always end up having nothing to give her.
this… hurts.
you arrive at your place. pick her stuff up again from the car, put it in a corner of your house.
you’re actually really embarassed to show her your house. it’s not like it was last summer.
there’s now random bottles of alcohol by the couch. stains on the wall and on the floor.
it’s dusty as hell because you couldn’t get to clean anything in months.
your bed sheets witnessed fifty-three nights by now. your clothes are all scattered across all the house.
your tv is hot like a frying pan. and lastly there’s nothing to eat.
you think she shouldn’t witness this atrocity, and that her stuff deserved more care.
this… hurts.
she’s there laying in your bed, asking you to cuddle. you sit beside her, and you two start hugging each other.
something inside you is awakened.
it’s the next day. this night was like no other. you really rested for the first time in months.
she wakes you up gently. you hug her. you two have breakfast, then.
she knows a lot of coffee varieties, and she brought a couple samples for you both to try.
you don’t even have coffee. you abused it to keep your attention span in check and then you forgot to buy it.
actually, you’ve been so much of a mess you didn’t do anything but order food night and day for the past two weeks.
this… hurts.
you two have the greatest coffee you’ve tasted in years.
she asks more cuddles of you. you’re addicted to her. she cuddles you. you cuddle her back.
she doesn’t need to know how your life went to shit after she left you to go back to uni.
she’s there with you now. your desire is to be with her. forever.
it’s your only desire, is it?
somewhere deep within you, a mirror cracks.
your life only makes sense when she’s with you, does it?
you’re tired of trying to act as if you’re normal.
you’re tired of the look people give you when you’re out doing groceries.
you’re tired of having to do your nine to five sysadmin job at the office.
you’re tired of having to carry on with this life where it’s just you by yourself.
you only really want her. you want to be with her. you want to serve her. you want to see her happy.
you’re already scared shitless of the next time she’ll leave.
this… hurts.
cuddles stop. it’s 10 am. there’s a great day in front of you. you need to make of it the most, with her.
you know time’s already running out.
she’ll be with you for this day, and tomorrow she’ll have to leave.
will you confess to her you want to be her doll, forever?